The gang leaves down and heads westward into the Khan Duran. As they travel they notice they’re being watched by four figures on horseback. The watchers stand on a large dune to the north, but turn around and head north with great haste.
The party climbs up the hill and sees the distant figures riding towards a great pyramid-like structure. They follow and find it to be an ancient ruin engulfed by the dunes.
Above the entrance way are elvish characters, but none in the party can read them. They look to be crudely scratched out, and above written in draconic are the words “Tomb of the Forsaken Queen”
Kaizen is reluctant to enter as it may delay them from helping those taken from the slavers and voices his concern to Kaitus. Kaitus argues that the disappearance of the villagers might have something to with this tomb, especially given the draconic above the door. Kaitus orders them forward.
There’s a statue of an elvan woman holding a book in one hand and a jug in the other, it looks to have been a fountain at one point. Kaizen’s crystal coconut begins to glow (everyone sings the donkey kong theme). Kaitus steps into the temple and the crystal begins to glow brighter.
There is a campsite in the temple vestibule.
They read the book the statue is holding and it says “A consonant will take you 200 miles, but a vowel will take you 300”
Kaitus orders Kaizen to put the crystal coconut into the jug of the statue. He does and nothing happens.
Kaizen: Wow, what a surprise.
Kaizen wakes up Methuselah who turns into a normal lamp to light the way.
They go down into the temple and find a bunch of old corpses.
Kaizen has the epiphany that the dragonborn slavers and draconic above the temple are related. Kaitus gives him a “no shit” look.
There’s a door with a chain across it and a rotting arm sticking through, wedged between the door and the wall. Kaitus goes up to it and the hand reaches for him. The hand grabs Kaitus’ head and explodes into sand, which begins to burn into his skin. The sand burrows into the pours of Kaistus’ skin. Kaizen hold’s the coconut up to Kaitus to see if it does anything.
(side convo: James Bond is to spy movies as Jackie Chan is to kung-fu, but Jackie Chan is real)
(side convo: Gin is my least favourite flavour other than poop. -Fancie)
Kaizen knocks on the stone door. The universe ignores him because it’s making a G&T.
Kaizen swings Hosbo’s mace at the lock as hard as he can and the lock busts open, but the doors stay closed. Kaitus is spacey and not paying attention. Kaizen asks if he’s okay to continue. Kaitus replies “Lets move”.
Kaizen takes a look and see’s Kaitus’ condition is similar to zombie rot, where it converts the person into a zombie. Bartten knows it as “Quickrot” and the victim succumbs to the wounds within 4 days or less. It converts their body to sand and their limbs begin to fall off. Bartten knows of certain old wives tale remedies such as smearing the wounds with camel dung, or the blood of a flying snake, stung by a scorpion, a blastula tear, the water from an oasis.
“We’re going through that god damn door” . Kaizen tries to push the door, fails check, Kaitus helps, Bartten helps, natty 1, pushed the door the wrong way and more firmly into place. Kaizen tries sliding the door but it does not miss.
“We got any of that weed going?” said Lerbs, “Yeeeeessss” said Connor. Then a chorus of “AH YEEEEEEEEES” sang out across the land. Fancie says “I knew you wouldn’t get it” Ellerby says “Oh I got it” and doesnt sound amused. Steve calls him a “Ni***r meister”.
The adventures wander off into the darkness until they notice Kaizen is still staring at the door that wont move and he has the light. Kaitus whispers to him but Kaizen does not hear. Kaizen puts his ear to the door and Hosbo yells to him. “Hold on a minute!” says Kaizen. Hosbo holds his hand up in a hold position,
Kaizen “Put your hand down we can all hear each other!”
Kaitus “…Hosbo…I’m dying”
Bartten slowly puts his finger up Hosbo’s nose “slightly”
He rolls and used his inspiration. Hosbo screams and flails around in the dark and almost runs into a wall. Bartten holds him by the head as he flails.
Kaizen hears wind on the other side of the door.
Kaitus is internally freaking out. “Kaizen get your ass over here!”
Kaizen says he thinks the fountain at the beginning of the tomb, and the Silver Spring Oasis are linked.
Kaizen “I’d like to use my deflect missiles at some point”
Kaizen “Not from an ally!”
They go through a door and Kaizen finds some silver and does not tell the others.
The come to a massive staircase which they cant see the bottom of.
They enter a large place that looks like a dilapidated library. off to the side is a small chamber with blue light shining from it.
Kaitus “Kaizen I want you to sneak into that room. We’ll be right behind you”
There is a figure sitting amongst magical glowing runes scrawled on the floor. The figure is facing away from Kaizen.
“There are enemies nearby, please get in the circle with me, quick! If she finds us we’ll all be dead”
Kaizen goes to touch her shoulder, Kaitus yells stop but it’s too late, Kaizen touches her shoulder and is frozen in place. The head of the corpse turns around 180 degrees and they can clearly see she is a corpse with the skin hanging off her face. “Finally” she says.
Kaitus yells “Fireforged!” and charges forward. He swings both swords down and as they cross the line of runes he freezes. Hosbo charges and also freezes.
Bartten steps around and fires his crossbow at the being. It freezes mid air. He fires another one and it does the same. Bartten “Statue stop!”
“It’s not a statue!”
He tells it to let them go. She says she wishes she could. They talk about how she was a grave robber and she was attacked by the quick rot mummies.
“Autistic crypt mummy, why the fuck do you have a force field!?” She tried and messed up the runes and got stuck.
Bartten learns from her how to draw runes and draw on magical energies. He survives by hunting flying snakes at night. It takes 6 weeks. He covers the others in stinky snake guts. Barrten sets up a campsite, has grown a long beard. One day the figure says “Today is the day you let me die” Bartten casts a protection spell right next to the failed one, they overlap, and the rest of the Fireforged become animated. Once the protection spell touches the figure she falls to dust.
Kaitus is very angry that it’s been weeks and has to restrain his anger. He wants to leave the Tomb immediately to go to the oasis. Kaizen reasserts that the place is connected to the oasis. The coconut begins to glow brighter. The compass grows brighter. Kaitus is cracking.
Hosbo smacks him and says “Get a hold of yourself!”
“Do that again, I dare you”
“I wont do it, not because I’m afraid, or because you dared me, but because I dont want to” Hosbo keeps mumbling fuck fuck fuck under his breath.
Kaizen says he thinks the quickrot has been lifted, and that the fastest way to the Oasis is to press forward through the tomb.
Kaizen “I’m going to be bold this time” and steps into a new room without sneaking. Feels floor move beneath him “fuck” a bunch of snakes fall from the ceiling.
They find a library with a few chests. The open one and a bunch of beetles pour out. There are lots of erotic books.
Kaitus’s eye explodes and he ties a makeshift eyepatch around his head.
They go up a tower and find a dead camel. Steve leaves and comes back covered in camel shit. Kaizen “…what are our orders?”
Covered in shit Kaitus "What are our orders _captain___
They find the Sphynx and solve the riddle.
Barrten gets a troubadour hat, and birds seem to be attracted to it. Kaitus has a cowboy hat that seems to have something to do with aphrodisiacs . Kaizen has a fedora.
Kaizen gets a silver key and says “Maybe I can put this on my head”
Kaitus “Quit feeling sorry for yourself I’m covered in camel shit, lets move!”
Bartten “Are we winning this fight?”
Kaizen “We’re not in a fight”
Universe “Okay time to call it a night”